‘Twas the Night Before Month-End

18Twas the night before month-end, when all through the RAC
Not a creature was stirring, not even a yak.
The statements were prepped by the system with care,
In hopes that a batch job soon would be there.

The clients were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of payments danced in their heads.
The techies, in jammies, some with a night cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When loud from the pagers arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to my laptop I suddenly jogged,
Signed into the console to see what was logged.

The light from the screen with its blue-ish white glow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
A halt in transactions; no root cause was clear.

I called the remote hands, and asked, “What the heck?”
And off to cages they scurried to check.
More rapid than eagles we checked things the same,
We whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Not software! Not firmware! Someone clear memcache!
No spikes here! No drops there! No web servers crashed!
From the top of the RAC, to the last blade and all!
Now InstaCheck! InstaCheck! InstaCheck all!”

As dry leaves that ‘fore the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So they rose, all support teams, to dig and assist,
And not one of us knew what to think, until this:

Just then, in a twinkling, up on the roof
Came sleigh bells and laughter and—was that a hoof?
While scratching their heads, remote hands heard a sound,
And down through the chimney (with appropriate data center credentials) he came with a bound!

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
There were cables! And filers! They spilled from his pack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He went right to the RAC, gave one cable a jerk.
And swapping it out with one wrapped red and white,
The alarms all resolved–it was quite a nice sight!

He gave us a smile, and he said never fear,
“Subscription-based billing is so in this year!
This holiday cable will make things all right.
Happy billing to all, and to all a good-night!”


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